Addy's Mom

It’s official – for now, I’m a Stay-at-Home-Mom. It’s actually been official for about two and a half weeks, but we were out of town for the week of July 4th, so the realization has just started to sink in as life has somewhat now returned to ‘normal’ - not that we really have had ‘normal’ in the past 5 months! But it’s as normal now as it ever will be going forward, so I guess it’s safe to say that that’s where we are. :)

Even before I went back to work both Adam and I struggled with the decision of whether or not I should go back. Before Addy was born, I truly had not realized the magnetic Addy-force that I would feel from something so small. Being in limbo is hard though, and so we finally decided that I would go back to work as planned, with the ‘opt-out’ clause there and ready to be used if either one of us wanted to use it.

After being back to work five and a half weeks, we changed the plan. I’ve heard it said that the hardest decision is to decide to make change. I can believe it. So after discussing and discussing (and discussing some more), I gave my notice at work. And so now, here we are.

To be completely honest, I’m still struggling a little with my decision. I absolutely think that we made the right choice and I’m enjoying my time with Addy immensely. And, every day as I continue to see her develop and grow, I’m so thankful that I can be at home with her to see and experience these things. I’m happy that Adam and I can (hopefully!) work to establish a consistent framework for life for Addy in these early and formative years too. But there’s a little part of me wondering about the business world passing me by and there’s a little fear that I’ll lose myself in mommyhood without that other part of my life.

I have to say, I never realized all that goes into each side of the “stay at home or not” question. One of Adam’s friends said that with this decision to make, you’ll have regrets either way you go. He didn’t mean it pessimistically… he just has some clarity on this question – straight from his family’s own experience. Throughout this process, I’ve often wished (gasp!) that we were in the 1940s, so that the choice would be made for me. I’ve come to my senses and don’t wish that now – I do realize a slide backwards in time or in progress is not the solution to my (or the world’s) problems.

But I’ve noticed that when I answer the “What do you do?” question since staying at home has become a possibility, I’ve felt myself wanting to launch into this little diatribe. So, I guess now I’ve had my chance. =)

Now with this off my chest, I’m going to enjoy the wonder of an almost-five-month-old-Addy and take pleasure in every minute of it. My official title is now “Addy’s Mom”. I’ve got a couple other ideas up my sleeve, but for right now, Addy is my main client. It’s where I want to be right now and I’m confident that we made the right decision. And I feel good about that.